Enlightenment
So as the days gradually lengthen, and the winter chill gives rise to warmer climes, I look back on another year and I think to myself, ‘Gurl, do you know everything yet?’ And frankly I have to say the answer is NO.
Humankind is just one big bottle of poppers that someone once opened the lid on and now we’re left chasing around the room trying to get it all in.
Just the other day I was catching up with with a charming couple I know called Miss Thing and Ms Thang. Miss Thing invited one of his girls along - FYI a real girl - who was perhaps the most outrageous person I’d never met. And that’s saying something coming from someone who’s seen Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom ten times. (I’m just saying).
As we tipped into our tapas Princess Knickers, as I shall call her, elaborated on a wide variety of stories, such as the time she woke up one morning and realised that she must have fallen asleep with her vibrator STILL IN HER (the battery had run out some time during the early morning, obvs).
There was much spluttering of drink across the table and loud exclamations of ‘RAISE THE CURTAIN’ and it was during one of these moments she started talking about being Seagulled. I looked at her with the same expression Tyra does when someone says to her ‘Have you read The Second Sex?’
‘Angel, what does that mean?’ I asked.
She laughed with a booming guffaw that came from somewhere deep in her heavy cleavage. ‘Surely you must know what this is?! Why it’s when a guy deposits a thick load of semen into his palm and then… FLICKS THE WHOLE LOAD AT YOU.’
LIVING!
The world is full of such poetry.
